We've been together for quite a while now... we've shared a lot of things...

Bottles of beer, hours of talk, walk, and cruise. We've shared loads of laughs and buckets of tears...

And it all started from a simple "Hi"

I fell for you and you knew... you knew that I am always thinking of you, that there's nowhere else I'd rather to be but beside you.

You knew that even if my happiness depends on our proximity I kept my feelings out of sight... you have a life of your own and I don't want to make you feel caged just because I love you.

I was okay with being there, simply being able to look at you, watch you smile and breath the same air that you do...

I wasn't asking for anything nor am I expecting that you'd eventually feel the same way but... the day you held my hand and gave me the loveliest kiss I felt so happy and scared that my heart could burst.

Nothing changed though and despite myself, despite the fact that I know this feeling and whatever we have would go nowhere... I still hoped.

I waited...

And waited... until you come to terms with yourself and your feelings.

I never demanded for anything, who am I to ask you to stay?

Or to love me back?

I could only love you but I could never force love on you...

But I'm all grown up, I am a woman -- a polished diamond with millions of cuts.

So one day I decided to do what would be good for me...

"I'm going..." I said before you.

"Going where? Are you saying goodbye to me?" You asked.

"No, I'm not... because there was never any 'hello', was there?" I replied faking a smile.

You looked down and after an eternity of silence you told me, "Please stay." and you held my hand.

I just looked at you blankly and then you said, "I love you..." your voice was weak but I heard it and it welled my heart. I've longed for you to say that...

I almost cried... It's been my dream for so long, I was tempted to stay -- believe me, I was.

But I have made up my mind. There's no turning back.

I took my hands from yours, your eyes were full of foreboding...

I gave you one final kiss. Sweet and swift. "I have to go."

And in that bright summer morning I went home to me.

shit... kahit libing mo na kahapon... hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala na wala ka na...

 

hindi man tayo best of friends hindi ko pa rin maintindihan kung bakit ganito kasakit para sa akin na wala ka na...

 

ang dami mong pinaiyak sa libing mo... if only bucket of tears could bring you back to life...

 

lenard... wherever you are... i know you're happy... and safe...

 

sana tulungan mo kaming mag-move on... please give us a sign that you are okay and at peace...

 

we are praying for justice to prevail... sana... sana...

please if you know somebody by the name FE VALDEZ ARAGON contact me... she's my mom, she had me adopted at age 2 and i'm looking for her. my number is 0910-7062171

She is my biological mom, and i'm looking for her... i accidentally found out about her... and my adoptive parents don't know i'm looking for her... she's 39 years old now... if you know something about her do let me know! 09107062171 i would really appreciate it! god bless!

I've been through a lot of hell... some of those are imagined, some are exaggeration in an attempt to make my life a bit interesting... there are times when i act out what I'm suppose to feel when i feel numb... there are time when i just feel like screaming my lungs out! i hate you! leave me alone!
but i love you too... and i wished so hard for you to stay... but you did leave though....

I wish i could be really, truly happy... like you...